SPS 095: The Five Love Languages: Behind The Scenes Of The Book, The Series, And Selling 15 Million Copies with Gary Chapman


Joining me today is Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages – one of the most successful books of all time (over 15 millions copies sold) and one of my personal favorites. 

Why Gary Decided to Write The Five Love Languages

Gary discovered years ago that what makes one person feel loved doesn’t necessarily make another person feel loved as he heard similar stories from couples in his daily practice. He thought there must be a pattern, and so Gary proceeded to sit down and read several years of notes he took during sessions to find a common thread among the couple’s dissatisfaction.

He found that what couples are looking for in a relationship falls into five different categories, which is what Gary decided to write about. When he applied this to his practice, many of his clients would return, telling Dr. Chapman how much the love language process had helped them in their relationship.

How Dr. Chapman Created his Book Framework

First, he decided to talk about the three ways people fall in love and the stages and feelings that accompany falling in love. For professionals helping others solve their problems, Gary suggests asking yourself: What has been the most helpful to people in the years that you have worked with clients? Make sure you find a process or concept that has been proven to work before you start writing to ensure that your book content can be duplicated with others at home.

Gary says that we “write out of the overflow, and we don’t just create things to write.” Growing out of the interest of the field you are in, professionals decide on their topics to write about. Dr. Chapman talks about how he extended his five love language concepts to children, teens, singles, military, and parents with feedback from his readers.

Find out what revisions Dr. Chapman made his book, how to partner with other experts to write a book, and what he recommends for working with co-authors.

Learn how he self-published his first book and how he came up with his book titles.

Show Notes

  • [01:23] Why Dr. Chapman decided to write The Five Love Languages.
  • [04:05] Writing for the everyday person when you’re an expert.
  • [09:55] Creating a framework for his book based on his practice notes.
  • [14:29] What elements he changed or added in his revised edition of his book.
  • [19:40] Tips on working with co-authors.
  • [24:36] The way Gary self-published his book before self-publishing was popular.
  • [29:47] How he came up with all his book titles.
  • [37:39] Writing about the biggest influences of his life.
  • [42:52] Only write if you believe you have a topic that is worth passing on to other people.

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Brittany

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